I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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