your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want her autograph on my taint
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize