I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
