I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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