I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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