im so drunk with asians
where?
always
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
