I want to make a zoo with you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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