I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
