Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
