I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
