So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
