Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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