Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
