i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
smell my finger.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
