If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
