margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i believe in u and ur pee
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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