By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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