I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
