we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
