So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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