I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
