I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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