im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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