Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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