I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
