69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
