Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize