I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize