i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
