is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
