i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize