she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
