He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The best walk of shames are on the highway
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
