Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
