I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
