remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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