i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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