sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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