If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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