Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is my gift to your gina
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize