Sponge bath it is.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
being pregnant is like rehab
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
