Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize