I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
