Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize