the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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