Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's shark week go big or go home
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize