If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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