I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
