Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
