You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
