If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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