Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
