Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
