Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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