Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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