she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
