I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
And then he peed in my hair
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
