Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
