Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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