You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
