stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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