Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
