evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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