Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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