Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
